The stigma of sounding gay

Ignoring “gay-sounding” voices on dating/sex profiles happens often. I read these profiles every day. The binary: gay-sounding vs straight-acting. The former doesn’t sound like the latter. Acquiring credit in the straight world adds to your desirability; “passing off,” according to gay men who hold these noxious views, means not being “limited” by one’s sexuality. For… More The stigma of sounding gay

Reclaiming spinsterhood and bachelorhood

I have read a couple of dissenting reviews of Kate Bolick’s Spinster, but Briallen Hopper’s is the liveliest and most allusive. The crux of her counterargument: although Bolick is correct to reclaim spinsterhood as a desirable state, the assumptions on which this state rests still get defined by men. “Whom to marry, and when will… More Reclaiming spinsterhood and bachelorhood

Options available!

The column I’ve been waiting for. Rebecca Traister: But the other thing that’s so revolutionary about fighting for marriage to be about love and companionship – and not about a strictly gendered economic or social power construct – is that it acknowledges human connections that are also available to millions of people outside of marriage… More Options available!

Moving on

To the friends who’ve married in the extraordinary last couple of years, I congratulate your freedom to move to any state in the country; its government must acknowledge your marriage. I don’t march in parades or change Facebook photos because I’m a prig. A good friend yesterday lamented the subtext of Anthony Kennedy’s decision —… More Moving on

‘The culmination of a 10-year campaign to change attitudes in this country’

Sixty-two percent of voters who participated in the Irish referendum voted for a gay marriage amendment to the country’s constitution. I wish people would drop the facile analogies. Our federal system means ensures fifty state governments must have their say. But we’re almost there. Grass roots efforts must never relax; they’re what broke the Catholic… More ‘The culmination of a 10-year campaign to change attitudes in this country’

‘I knew deep down that they would love me no matter what’

This is how to make a campaign: start with relatives, then sell your story: Thirteen years ago Padraic Whyte did one of the hardest things he has ever had to do: He told his Roman Catholic parents living in rural Ireland that he was gay. He had waited until he was completely comfortable with himself… More ‘I knew deep down that they would love me no matter what’

‘That’s what lawyers do: make the law work for them.’

The NYT profiles Jack Baker and Michael McConnell, who became the first same-sex couple known to apply for a marriage license. Following the journalism adage of going through the window when the door is locked, the couple took advantage of a loophole: McConnell adopted Baker, then McConnell wrested a marriage certificate from an oblivious clerk:… More ‘That’s what lawyers do: make the law work for them.’