Humanizing The Vacuum

Few lists come as loaded as this: Kelly Clarkson realizing what the bands cited in Meet Me in the Bathroom needed several tons of coke to achieve liftoff; Mariah Carey whisper-whiskering a midtempo victory run; Rihanna bringing dance hall overtones into the top two; and Ne-Yo riding a dulcet melody…

Many obscurities (to me) on this list: I had not heard The Fools’ version of Roy Orbison’s “Running Scared,” never knew Jermaine Jackson followed up “Let’s Get Serious” with an album of self-written nullities, was not acquainted with Herb Alpert’s “Beyond,” which sounds like a bizzer hearing Giorgio Moroder’s soundtrack…

Never mind its Dadaist impact — I value “Come With Me” as an example of what Madonna later called the impressive instant. With Tom Morello and, egads, Jimmy Page playing the latter’s own “Kashmir” riffs over boilerplate from the Godzilla soundtrack, “Come With Me” achieves schlock liftoff. Its attitudes towards…

Frustrated that his 1985 solo debut, despite the millions CBS spent in promotion, piddled out below the top ten, Mick Jagger understood he had a problem. No one under forty thought him a credible sex symbol, not when Jon Bon Jovi had better hair. The solution? Work with happenin’ producer…