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Humanizing The Vacuum

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    Ranking #3 singles, U.S. edition: 1995-2000

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    October 10, 2026

    I have friends, honorable people in every respect, who recoil from “Crush” like liberals do from American flag bumper stickers. Frothy, silly as a French kiss, Jennifer Paige’s only top ten rode the chart for weeks, hammering each inanity and breathless backing vocal into the consciousness of an America that…

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    ‘I dispute the PREMISE!’

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    October 9, 2026

    A month from now I hope to sit at this laptop with a sky-splitting grin that no health news or hangover will wipe. My joy at a triumphant midterm elections will stay undimmed for the rest of 2026. For kicks this morning I went to the NYT archives to drink…

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    Ranking #22 singles, U.S. edition: 1983-1986

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    October 9, 2026

    In memoriam for my beloved Sanibel as it existed before Hurricane Ian, I tried finding photos of Sunset Grill before Hurricane Ian turned it into driftwood (St. Augustine’s looked like a Victorian hotel). I know the one about which Don Henley co-wrote a song is the sort of place where…

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    You may pass on ‘The Invite’

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    October 8, 2026

    I see two ways of thinking about The Invite. Released in a country as terrified about mature sexuality as the United States, the smirky-snarky attitude of director-star Olivia Wilde and co-star Seth Rogen as performers, of Wilde’s direction, and of Will McCormack and Rashida Jones’s script might be the only…

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    Ranking #37 singles, U.S. edition: 1969-1970

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    October 6, 2026

    A psych-rock chestnut by Pete Townshend proteges that as a young man I confused with Neil Young, “Something in the Air” boasts a latticework of guitars, basic barrelhouse piano pounding offsetting lyrics that may sound platitudinous to our ears but at the height of the Vietnam War bloodshed resonated.

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    On Freddie Jackson

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    October 6, 2026

    A pity the late Freddie Jackson was best known by crossover audiences for the mawkish “You Are My Lady.” A sensation when it dropped on R&B radio in spring 1985, “Rock Me Tonight (For Old Times Sake)” introduced a love man whose gravely voice understood the groove, particularly the electro…

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    Travelin’ men: ‘On the Road’

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    October 6, 2026

    “Truckers will fuck anything,” we learn late in On the Road, David Pablos’ film about a hustler named Veneno (Victor Prieto) picked up by the driver Muñeco (Osvaldo Sanchez) because the former needs a ride and the latter needs a blow job. What transpires is predictable but Pablos has an…

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    Ranking #22 singles, U.S. edition: 1979-1982

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    October 5, 2026

    During a somnolent post-disco period, these hits could not pass into the top twenty and beyond. Tart, sardonic, “Seven Year Ache” reduced Kenny Rogers, Ronnie Milsap, and other country crossovers, worthy and unworthy, to ash in the same way “Time Out of Mind” turned Eddie Money, Chicago, and someone named…

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    I’ve got so much to show ya: The best of Troye Sivan

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    October 5, 2026

    I’ve already made this claim: Troye Sivan is what Timothée Chalamet’s Elio would have become had he been slightly more of a partier instead of a reader. Call Me By Your Name ends with a devastated but resilient Elio weeping in front of a fireplace. “Kiss me on the mouth…

    Continue reading →: I’ve got so much to show ya: The best of Troye Sivan
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    Ranking #2 singles, U.S. edition: 2005-2007

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    October 5, 2026

    Few lists come as loaded as this: Kelly Clarkson realizing what the bands cited in Meet Me in the Bathroom needed several tons of coke to achieve liftoff; Mariah Carey whisper-whiskering a midtempo victory run; Rihanna bringing dance hall overtones into the top two; and Ne-Yo riding a dulcet melody…

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    Ranking #84 singles, U.S. edition: 1980-1983

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    October 3, 2026

    Evidence of AT 40 Racism Part XCI: The Gap Band’s “Burn Rubber (Why You Wanna Hurt Me),” their first essential ’80s single, sputtered at #84.

    Continue reading →: Ranking #84 singles, U.S. edition: 1980-1983
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    How to free ourselves from the New York Times

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    October 3, 2026

    Alert to the casualness with which the New York Times has aired the views of trans bigots, I read Perry Bacon’s advice nodding along:

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This is the internet home of Alfred Soto, freelance writer and a professor of communications.

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      • Ranking #3 singles, U.S. edition: 1995-2000

      • ‘I dispute the PREMISE!’

      • Ranking #22 singles, U.S. edition: 1983-1986

      • You may pass on ‘The Invite’

      • Ranking #37 singles, U.S. edition: 1969-1970

      • On Freddie Jackson

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