10:57: Beto consulted notes for his final statement.
10:55 p.m. Klobuchar: “I listen to people except when they don’t wash my combs.”
10:54 p.m. Remember, readers: Tim Ryan challenged Nancy Pelosi for speaker.
10:47 p.m. I’m reading snipes from haircuts like Noah Rothman about Elizabeth Warren disappointing expectations, but she had more to lose; to participate in ridiculous spats about who did what in Afghanistan would tarnish her. Let the small fry who will disappear after tonight have their fundraising moment.
10:45 p.m. Why do network people moderate debates? Hot dog vendors could ask sassier questions.
10:44 p.m. Trumbull’s painting of Washington?
10:40 p.m. Are we really arguing about 9-11 and who’s tougher and whether Tim Ryan understands data? Let me repeat: Tim Ryan and Tulsi Gabbard argued about who was responsible for 9-11.
10:35 p.m. De Blasio gives a decent answer on the failure of Democratic and GOP presidents’ failure to observe the War Powers Act, which may itself be unconstitutional at worst and redundant at best, for Congress approves military actioni (yeah, yeah).
10:33 p.m. Autobiographical anecdotes. Conversations with Lil Nel. I don’t care who does it. This approach to answering questions is limp as hell.
10:29 p.m. Gabbard: “My record in Congress going back six years….”
10:28 p.m. What the hell is Tim Ryan babbling about The Working Class? If The Working Class doesn’t accept climate change, expanding health care options, LGBT rights, and access to abortions, they’re not worth wooing.
10:26 p.m. I can’t stress how badly Florida will pay for congressional perfidy on the effect of climate change.
10:24 p.m. O’Rourke and the rest have degenerated into Bringing Everyone to the Table.
10:17 p.m. Pathetic. Going into “red states” will NOT break Mitch McConnell.
10:15 p.m. I know Rachel Maddow’s intention: she wants candidates on the record about packing the court. Booker blew it.
10:11 p.m. Tim Ryan’s answer about social services failing high school students, but how will you keep the students for whom social services didn’t work from getting guns?
10:08 p.m. Classic Bill Kristol move here from Sparklepants.
10:02 p.m. Microphone circuits malfunction suddenly when Chuck Todd approaches them.
10 p.m. WATCH OUT AMERICA! Chuck Todd of Kendall is here to explain what the most predictable centrist position should look like.
9:57 p.m. Commercial break. Quick wrap-up: Castro stronger than expected; Beto as flaccid as expected; Gabbard more hawkish than expected; Ryan, de Blasio, Booker as chicken shit as expected. I have no read on Inslee, Klobuchar, and Delaney.
9:53 p.m. Gabbard scorns this “chicken hawk” Cabinet. I know what she means but. Also: EEE-Ran? Also, she enlisted in the Iraq War? Did I hear correctly?
9:49 p.m. It’s difficult to know whether the moderators believe their own outrage about 70 percent rates, open borders, and abortion for everyone; because it’s NBC and MSNBC, I say their producers sound a lot like Nicole Wallace, Charlie Sykes, and “Morning” Joe.
9:45 p.m. I would enforce a strong border that keeps out invaders like “invest,” “incentivize,” and “opportunity.”
9:43 p.m. Now Castro and de Blasio have turned the debate into a Texan civil war. Good. It needs to happen.
9:41 p.m. I speak Spanish and wish everyone did, but, my god, Jose Diaz-Balart, stop forcing Beto and Booker to speak Spanish.
9:40 p.m. “The 1 percent did that to you,” de Blasio explains to the crowd, and he’s right, but he’s the Overlord of NYC, fiefdom of the 1 Percent.
9:38 p.m. Cory Booker speaks Spanish like I dribble hot sauce.
9:37 p.m. Castro: “We need a Marshall Plan for Mexico and Honduras.” Good luck with that; a Christian thought, and it shows somebody’s thinking of Latin America instead of invading or condescending to them.
9:35 p.m. To watch Diaz-Balart perform outrage and disgust over the death of Oscar and Valeria is weird considering his family.
9:31 p.m. When you watch Eurythmics’ video for “Missionary Man,” the lab-created specimen overseen by Dave Stewart is Cory Booker.
9:30 p.m. Good on Julian Castro for mentioning trans women for the first time.
9:29 p.m. Klobuchar scores a perfect hit at the expense of Washington governor Jay Inslee about who has the right to discuss reproductive rights.
9:23 p.m. De Blasio, about to be sawed off the plank of this galleon, gets offended by Beto’s neolib answer. Offended by Beto. Think about it.
9:21 p.m. Beto, fresh after a quiet leisurely afternoon nap, mentions a Texan with diabetes and glaucoma as if he were just introduced to a Texan, diabetes, and glaucoma.
9:19 p.m. Only two candidates raise their hands when debate host Lester Holt asks who would surrender their private health care for government care. A loaded question — most of these people are on the government payroll.
9:18 p.m. I’m a partisan. Elizabeth Warren has earned my support. Even now, under the glare of these lights, she speaks in crisp declarative sentences.
9:15 p.m. Hi, John Delaney!
9:14 p.m. How progressive and interested in The Working People has Bill de Blasio been?
9:12 p.m. “I will take your hard-earned tax dollars and put them to serve your needs,” Rep. Tulsi Gabbard of Hawaii says. This marks the first time I’ve typed her name in this blog. She emphasizes her military service. I may have missed this on Twitter, but her most fervent fans don’t care about the military.
9:11 p.m. Getting the loudest applause line of the night, Julian Castro wonders why we haven’t passed the Equal Rights Amendment.
9:08 p.m. “What’s missing is courage — courage to take on the giants,” Elizabeth Warren says. “I have the courage to go after [the monopolists].”
9:07 p.m. Uh, Cory Booker is not the person to whom I’d turn for corporate consolidation.
9:06 p.m. “This economy has got to work for everyone,” former Rep. Beto O’Rourke says, then says it in broken Spanish. Elizabeth Warren and Cory Booker give him a WTF scowl.
9:04 p.m. Senator Amy Klobuchar posits the idea of free community college, which would excite Miamians, for, after all, Miami-Dade College has the largest undergrad enrollment of any community college.
9:03 p.m. I should point out that in Miami we still say “Hispanic,” not “Latinx.”
9:02 p.m. José Díaz-Balart, Telemundo anchor, is a local hero. He’s the late Fidel Castro’s nephew yet thrives.
9 p.m. I’m not sure how many people realize how goddamn hot it is.
8:57 p.m. Brian Williams, fired for being a third-rate fiction writer instead of an anchor, says “podia” instead of “podium.” The crew loves them.
8:56 p.m. The defeated Claire McCaskill, who thought we should court conservatives, explains how things should go on stage. She tells us that the candidates write their zingers down. I feel better.
8:53 p.m. Hi! We’re here. I’ve had churrasco and a glass of wine. The candidates have emerged to congratulate me. Well, no — to take a group photo on stage.