Farewell, Paul Ryan

Barack Obama did damage to the body politic when in early 2010, at a health care “forum” where he cleaned the clock of every Republican who thought he couldn’t hold his own discussing policy minutiae, he praised Congressman Paul Ryan for having Good Ideas about helping our system. There was the problem with Obama’s governance during that first term, which in 2018 makes me feel like Harold Ickes and Rex Tugwell in 1965 reminiscing about the vermouth-heavy swill FDR called a martini. A year later, Paul Ryan was sipping from a $350 bottle of Jayer-Gilles 2004 Echezeaux Grand Cru with two lobbyists. We also learned that, thanks to saving the Social Security benefits from his father that Ryan would have rescinded had he possessed a magic wand, the congressman paid for college. Then Willard “Mitt”Romney asked him to be his running mate, where he proved another bad joke, as Joe Biden demonstrated by laughing, hard, in his face during the 2012 veep debates. Replacing John Boehner as speaker in 2015, Ryan showed the leadership skills of a headless mule. He wasn’t in charge and everyone knew it – the big money that drove psychopaths and grifters from Land O’ Lakes to Lamont to run for office was in charge.

When “Morning” Joe Scarborough and “Mika” Brzezinski spend three of their eight-hour talk show bemoaning the lack of GOP opposition to the whims Trump thinks up while on the shitter with his Twitter computer, they point to the spinelessness of Speaker Paul Ryan as if Ryan’s mealy-mouthed responses weren’t examples of his spine. He supports the Trump agenda. He supports the president, therefore he has nothing to be spineless about. He will leave Congress as the dampest of socks, a phony who convinced many Serious People that he was a man of ideas because he could pronounce “objectivism” correctly. “Policy wonk” is a term used by people who despise the educated, who in 1952 would have called someone who read books an egghead (“Ryan is like a perennial All-Star who never quite enjoyed the ideal circumstances to shine,” Jim Geraghty sighs, wiping tears with the hem of his skirt). Congress won’t be a better place with Ryan gone because Congress has two hundred thirty-six other Paul Ryans, some of whom use an X to sign their names.

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