Worst solo Beatles tracks

When Superman chose to mate with an earthling, his parentage demanded he surrender his powers in exchange for a disco collar. So it happened with the Beatles — a couple of them even wore disco collars! At their worst three of them put themselves through some grim studio rock paces, but I can’t blame them — the Beatles invented the idea of a solo career. No one had ever left the biggest band in the world. No wonder they recorded nursery rhymes, hectoring odes to Krishna, and country covers; they devolved to their constituent parts. The survivor was Paul McCartney, who hired hacks, forced them to perform his stoned doggerel at gun point, and after Elton John and Stevie Wonder became the most consistent American hitmaker of the seventies. No one at his level recorded inanity like a song about a doorbell. Meanwhile John Lennon waved the white flag after a #1 album and single in 1974,before which he’s recorded studio rock no less anonymous than George Harrison’s but better sung. Dependent on three colleagues/best bros who understood how to write to his non-voice, Ringo triumphed for longer than expected; writing for Ringo was like writing for the headmaster — you show your best to the PR agent best suited to represent you.

So here are my pics for worst solo Beatle songs, many of which comment on each other because why not. I could have stuck Harrison’s “Wake Up My Love” in yesterday’s list — it’s the Dirk Diggler version of New Wave. I’m delighted Rob Sheffield concluded that “My Love” is McCartney’s attempt to write his own “Something” and failing. Not many Ringo songs — why would I? Unlike the Other Three, he had no interest in a solo career. He had a solo career like you and I have phases when we walk after dinner — our doctors recommend them.

My links to related work.

1. Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey
2. Whatever Gets You Through the Night
3. Wake Up My Love
4. You
5. My Love
6. Cook of the House
7. Drumming is My Madness
8. Temporary Secretary
9. Tight A$$
10. Only You
11. Angry
12. Mary Had a Little Lamb
13. Bless You
14. Freedom
15. Ding Dong, Ding Dong
16. Drowning in the Sea of Love
17. John Sinclair
18. Little Lamb Dragonfly
19. Give Ireland Back to the Irish
20. All Those Years Ago

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