Worst disco and New Wave accommodations

It was a dark time for boomers. As the seventies collapsed with an enervated sigh, those acts in their late thirties and older fought to hold on to their market shares. For every “Miss You” and “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy (shut up: it’s a monster track, despite the leering) and “I Need a Lover” (Pat Benatar’s, that is), listeners had to endure KISS proving how difficult it is to write a terrible disco throwaway, Alice Cooper working himself into a lather trying to be impassive and robot-like, and Billy Joel being Billy Joel. Some of these hits have disappeared; some of these weren’t even hits outside MTV and AOR radio for six seconds. What distinguishes them from their successful cousins is cynicism: most of these people weren’t even trying, and when they did it was to get a gold certification. This explains “I Was Made for Lovin’ You”; also, “Goodnight Tonight,” an ace pop song with a typically superb McCartney bass line mixed zealously in a dub mix because, uh, disco means zealously mixing your bass lines.

1. The Beach Boys – Here Comes The Night
2. KISS – I Was Made for Lovin’ You
3. David Naughton – Makin’ It
4. Barbra Streisand – The Main Event
5. Eagles – The Disco Strangler
6. Kool & the Gang – Celebration
7. John Hiatt – I Look for Love
8. Frankie Valli – Grease
9. Andy Gibb – Shadow Dancing
10. Roxy Music – Trash
11. Rick Springfield – Human Touch
12. Wings – Goodnight Tonight
13. France Joli – Feel Like Dancing
14. Alice Cooper – Clones (We Are)
15. Linda Ronstadt – Mad Love
16. Aretha Franklin – Ladies Only
17. Crosby, Stills & Nash – War Games
18. Billy Joel – It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me
19. Leif Garrett – I Was Made for Dancin’
20. The Knack – Good Girls Don’t
21. Dan Fogelberg – The Language of Love
22. Wild Cherry – Play That Funky Music
23. Leo Sayer – You Make Me Feel Like Dancing
24. Barry Manilow – Copacabana
25. Rolling Stones – Emotional Rescue

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