Humanizing The Vacuum

Al Shipley examines the Pazz and Jop’s singles chart with a cold eye and finds a disturbing development: “Today’s Pazz & Jop electorate has a much harder time engaging with the charts,” as in, the pop charts:

Granted, you may think that pop music is at a nadir right now, and critics are right to turn their backs on it. But many people surely felt the same way numerous times in the last 30 years, and the Pazz & Jop voters still managed to engage with the Hot 100 and separate the good from the bad. Now, the critics that vote for albums by indie rock bands like The National or Arcade Fire simply rubber stamp the same artists onto their singles ballot, whether or not they ever heard those songs anywhere but in the context of their parent albums. 

I’m not including singles from albums already in my top ten unless its life force was such that it generated its own energy outside the album (e.g. repeated plays on my iPod, making it to CD-R’s I burn for friends). Examples this year: The-Dream’s “Yamaha” and Vampire Weekend’s “Giving Up The Gun.” Apparently a critic placed three National songs in his top ten — news more troubling than Rihanna’s failure to score any.

The results of Pazz and Jop 2010 are published. Let the snickering over the (inevitable) album and singles winners begin (e.g. despite Simon Reynolds’ best efforts, I don’t hear the studio-rock polish in Ariel Pink’s “Round and Round” — and I like the song). Look instead to the essays. I was most captivated by Rich Juzwiak’s notably snicker-free attempt to understand how Pink, Nicki Minaj, Ke$ha, and Katy Perry can possibly promote themselves as homo-friendly. His answer: we made them so.

…to me, the beautiful burden of being gay forces you to search for your own heroes. To court us so visibly, explicitly, and successfully (as I write, Katy’s, P!nk’s, and Ke$ha’s gay bait all rank in the top five of the Billboard Hot 100) is to take the connoisseurship out of gay taste, to sap the queer from queerness. There is great worth in not being spoon-fed: It helps you develop your own interests, and can link you to your people in a way that feels mystical. There’s something magical in discovering how much Madonna’s “Open Your Heart” video meant to so many pre–gay ’80s kids, years before she boldly (and far less condescendingly) announced her allegiance to the gay cause via the likes of “Vogue” and Truth or Dare. There’s something fascinatingly eerie about the way gay men gravitate to Siouxsie Sioux or Kate Bush or even Robyn despite neither having made a production out of gay acceptance. There’s something awesome in being drawn to house music as a child, before you even learn its for-gays-by-gays history. Those moments transcend the overwhelming evidence of homosexuality’s biological nature and cut right to the soul.

Another year, another round of bitching. As for me, I’ve got remarks published here and here. My ballot.

Robert Christgau’s eighty-two favorite albums of the year. The accompanying essay. His top two albums honestly surprised me — certainly I didn’t see Elizabeth Cook scoring so high (it’s in my my top fifteen, incidentally). Kanye’s high score — what else is new.

The relatively sane people who don’t dedicate themselves to criticism must assume we’re born having listened to, watched, and read everything. The reality is more banal: we’re constantly playing catch-up. I don’t think we do a good enough job reminding our readers about discovering older stuff that we overlooked or for which we once had no sympathy.

Here’s a couple of  “classic” artists I finally paid attention to this year:

Harry Nilsson. Other than “Coconut,” “Jump Into the Fire,” and Mariah Carey’s cover of “Without You,” I hadn’t heard a note of the Beatles’ favorite hellion until I said the hell with it and bought Nilsson Schmilsson and Son of Schmilsson in rapid succession a couple of months ago. Tunes and attitude I expected and got; what grabbed my collar was Nilsson’s voice, a protean thing that could howl (“Jump Into the Fire,” “You’re Breakin’ My Heart”) and moan (“Down”) with a precision I associate with another piano-playing weirdo named Kate Bush. As a fan of aesthetic dissolution, I now need recommendations for the tread-carefully post-Pussycats records. Anyone?

Merle Haggard. Same story. 2006′s superlative one-disc compilation Hag: The Best of Merle Haggard held my appetite for a few years, until a combination of guilt and loving Jason Fine’s “The Fighter: The Life & Times of Merle Haggard” in a 2009 issue of Rolling Stone led me to Keep Movin’ On, Serving 190 Proof, Big City, Back to the Barrooms, and If I Could Only Fly. Plenty of bathos, self-righteousness, and failed attempts to prick one’s seriousness, and also fantastic songs sung by a musician whose voice has aged better than Willie’s — enough to justify my reviewing with confidence this year’s I Am What I Am, an excellent minor work.

This year’s singles ranked, from top to bottom.

10

Brad Paisley – American Saturday Night

9

Ciara – Ride
Aeroplane – We Can’t Fly
Sade – Soldier of Love
Brad Paisley – Water

8

Javiera Mena – Hasta La Verdad
Tim McGraw – Felt Good on My Lips
Vampire Weekend – Cousins
Cali Swag District – Teach Me How to Dougie
Rick Ross ft. Ne-Yo – Super High
Rick Ross – B.M.F.
Ne-Yo – Beautiful Monster
3OH!3 ft. Kesha – My First Kiss
I:Cube – Falling
Nas ft. Damien Marley – As We Enter
New Boyz – Cricketz
Vampire Weekend – Giving Up the Ghost
Erykah Badu – Window Seat
Big Boi ft Gucci Mane – Shine Blockas
Hurts – Wonderful Life

7

Corinne Bailey Rae – Paris Nights/New York Mornings
Taylor Swift – Back to December
The Thermals – I Don’t Believe You
KT Tunstall – (Still a) Weirdo
Brad Paisley – Anything Like Me
Gary Barlow and Robbie Williams – Shame
Kylie Minogue – Get Outta My Way
Jens Lekman – The End of the World is Bigger Than Love
Usher – There Goes My Baby
Miranda Lambert – Only Prettier
Sleigh Bells – Tell’em
Sunny Sweeney – From a Table Away
J Cole – Who Dat
The-Dream – Make-Up Bag
Trey Songz – Neighbours Know My Name
Sade – Baby father
Laura Bell Bundy – Giddy On Up
M.I.A. – XXXO
Eminem – Not Afraid
Dizzee Rascal – Dirtee Disco
Chris Young – The Man I Want To Be
Sade – Baby Father
Lady Gaga – Alejandro
Toni Braxton – Hands Tied
Big Boi – Shutterbug
Band of Horses – Compliments
Monica – Everything To Me
Scissor Sisters – Fire With Fire
T.I. – I’m Back
LCD Soundsystem – Drunk Girls
Example – Kickstarts
Kelis – Acapella
Courtney Love – Pacific Coast Highway
Fucked Up – Year of the Ox
Pill – Hear Somebody Comin’
Miranda Lambert – The House That Built Me
Los Campesinos! – Romance is Boring
Angie Stone – I Ain’t Hearin’ U
Martina McBride – Wrong Baby Wrong
Spoon – Written in Reverse
Gorillaz ft. Mos Def and Bobby Womack – Stylo
Shiny Toy Guns – Mayor Tom
Estelle ft Kardinal Offishall – Freak
Kylie Minogue – All The Lovers

6

Elzhi – Deep
Margaret Durante – Mississippi’s Crying
Kanye West ft. Bon Iver, Rick Ross, Jay-Z & Nicki Minaj – Monster
Rihanna – Only Girl (In the World)
Robyn – Hang With Me
Chrisette Michele – I’m a Star
Nas & Damian Marley ft. Lil Wayne – My Generation
Lauryn Hill – Repercussions
Ne-Yo – Champagne Life
Dinosaur Pile-Up – Horses and Trees
Cee-Lo – Fuck You
Taylor Swift – Mine
Eric Church – Smoke a Little Smoke
Big Boi – Follow Us
K’Naan – Wavin’ Flag
Luke Bryan – Rain is a Good Thing
Janelle Monae – Cold War
Wavves – Post-Acid
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists – The Mighty Sparrow
Diddy Dirty Morning ft. T.I.  – Hello Goodbye
Crystal Castles – Celestica
Keith Urban – I’m In
Robyn – Dancing On My Own
Christina Aguilera – Not Myself Tonight
Plan B – She Said
Esmee Denters ft. Justin Timberlake – Love Dealer
Janelle Monae ft. Big Boi – Tightrope
Aloe Blacc – I Need a Dollar
Drive-By Truckers – Birthday Boy
DJ Khaled ft. T-Pain, Ludacris, Rick Ross, and Snoop – All I Do is Win
Love and Theft – Dance in Circles
Ludacris ft. Nicky Minaj – My Chick Bad
Estelle ft. Kardinal Offishall – Freak
Gil Scott-Heron – Me and the Devil
Alex Gardner – I’m Not Mad
Tim McGraw – Still
Owen Pallet – Lewis Takes Off His Shirt
Jay Sean ft Sean Paul and Lil Jon – Do You Remember
Ke$ha – Blah Blah Blah
Mary J. Blige – I Am
Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce – Telephone
Kelis – 4th of July (Fireworks)
Dennis Ferrer – Hey Hey
Chiddy Bang – The Opposite of Adults
Vivian Green – Beautiful
The Band Perry – If I Die Young
B.O.B. ft. Bruno Mars – Nothin’ On You
Alphabeat – DJ
MGMT – Flash Delirium
Pitbull ft. Sensato, Black Point, Lil Jon, and El Cata – Watagatapitusbury
Kele – Tenderoni

5

Broken Social Scene – World Sick
Gucci Mane ft. Swizz Beatz – Gucci Time
Mark Ronson & The Business Intl. ft. Kyle Falconer & Spank Rock – The Bike Song
Katy Perry – Teenage Dream
Faith Evans – Gone Already
Crowded House – Summer Sun
Natasha Bedingfield – Touch
Mike Posner – Cooler Than Me
Josh Turner – All Over Me
Kid Cudi ft. Kanye West – Erase Me
The Roots ft John Legend – The Fire
M.I.A. – Born Free
The Pipettes – Stop the Music
Robyn – Fembot
T-Pain ft. Rick Ross – Rap Song
Drake – Over
Kenney Chesney – Ain’t Back Yet
Black Eyed Peas – Imma Be
Duck Sauce – Barbra Streisand
Fantasia – Bittersweet
Jason Derulo – In My Head
Royksopp – The Drug
Usher ft. will.i.am – OMG
Daisy Dares You ft. Chipmunk – Number One Enemy
Black Eyed Peas – Imma Be
Pixie Lott – Broken Arrow
Gucci Mane – Lemonade
Dam-Funk – Mirrors
Josh Turner – Why Don’t We Just Dance
Jimmy Eat World – My Best Theory
Josh Turner – All Over Me
Martha and the Diamonds – Hollywood
Fake Blood – I Think I Like It
Melina Fiona – It Kills Me
The Knife – Colouring of Pigeons
Alicia Keys – Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart
Wiley and Chew Fu – Take Five
Lady Antebellum – American Honey
Powderfinger – Burn Your Name
Nick Jones & The Administration – Who I Am
Lil Wayne – On Fire
Gold Panda – Quitters Raga
The Raveonettes – Bang
Titus Andronicus – A More Perfect Union
Ellie Goulding – Guns and Horses
Black Milk ft. Royce Da 5′9 and Elzhi – Deadly Medley
Grinderman – Heathen Child

4

Kris Allen – Live LIke We’re Dying
Faith Evans – Gone Already
Ke$ha – Take It Off
Trey Songz ft. Nicki Minaj – Bottoms Up
Carrie Underwood – Mama’s Song
Pulled Apart By Horses – High Five, Swan Dive, Nose Dive
Flo Rida ft. David Guetta – Club Can’t Handle Me
Devlin – Brainwashed
Jerrod Nieman – Lover Lover
Alexis Jordan – Happiness
Skepta – Rescue Me
Jessica Jarrell – Up and Running
Diane Vickers – The Boy Who Murdered Love
Yolanda Be Cool & DCUP – We No Speak Americano
Sleigh Bells – Infinity Guitars
Katy Perry ft. Snoop – California Girls
Mark Ronson and the Business Int’l – Bang Bang Bang
Fyfe Dangerfield – She’s Always a Woman
Pink – Raise Your Glass
Gary Allan – Today
Melissa Auf der Maur – Out of Our Minds
Avril Lavigne – Alice
Corinne Bailey Rae – I’ll Do It All Again
Adam Lambert – Whadya Want From Me
Justin Bieber ft. Luda – Baby
Rihanna – Rude Boy
T-Pain – Reverse Cowgirl
Gabriella Climi – On a Mission
Zola Jesus – Sea Talk

3

R Kelly – When a Woman Loves
Miley Cyrus – When I Look At You
Justin Bieber – U Smile
Willow Smith – Whip My Hair
Chris Brown ft. Tyga and Kevin McCall – Deuces
Darin – Lovekiller
Soulja Boy – Pretty Boy Swag
Hanson – Thinkin’ About Somethin’
Eminem ft. Rihanna – Love The Way You Lie
Nicky Minaj – Your Love
Carrie Underwood ft. David Guetta – Commander
Drake – Find Your Love
Swedish House Mafia ft. Pharrell – One
Jason Derulo – Ridin’ Solo
John Mayer ft. Taylor Swift – Half of My Heart
Sean Kingston ft. Justin Bieber – Eenie Meenie
The Futureheads – Heartbeat Song
Frightened Rabbits – Nothing Like You
McLean – My Name
Tinie Tempah ft. Eric Turner – Written in the Stars
Alicia Keys – Empire State of Mind
Iyaz – Solo
Jonsi – Go Do
The-Dream – Love King
Timbaland ft. Justin Timberlake – Carry Out
Rihanna ft. Young Jeezy – Hard
Trace Adkins – Ala-freakin’-bama
Carrie Underwood – Undo It
Mariah Carey ft. Nicky Minaj – Up Out of My Face
Diane Vickers – Once
Enrique Iglesias ft. Pitbull – I Like It
Chris Brown ft. Tyga and Kevin McCall – Deuces

2

Loick Essien – Love Drunk
Kings of Leon – Radioactive
Alexandra Burke ft. Laza Morgan – Start Without You
Pendulum – Water Color
a-ha – Butterfly, Butterfly (The Last Hurrah)
Uncle Kracker – Smile
Interpol – LIghts
The Wanted – All-Time Low
Daughtry – September
B.O.B. ft. Rivers Cuomo – Magic
Colbie Caillat – I Never Told You
Linkin Park – The Catalysts
Scouting For Girls – This Ain’t a Love Song
Brandon Flowers – Crossfire
Fugative – Bad Girl
Miley Cyrus – Can’t Tame Me

1

Owl City – Vanilla Twilight
The Ready Set – Love Like Woe
The Saturdays – Missing You
Train – Soul Sister

0

Professor Green – Need You Tonight
The Dirty Heads ft. Rome – Lay Me Down

1. Taylor Swift – Speak Now
2. Vampire Weekend – Contra
3. Big Boi – Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty
4. The-Dream – Love King
5. LCD Soundsystem – This is Happening
6. Rick Ross – Teflon Don
7. Curren$y – Pilot Talk 2
8. Against Me! – White Crosses
9. Javiera Mena – Mena
10. Four Tet – There is Love in You
11. M.I.A. – MAYA
12. Diddy Dirty Money – Last Train to Paris
13. Merle Haggard – I Am What I Am
14. Elizabeth Cook – Welder
15. No Age – Everything in Between
16. Robyn – Body Talk
17. Jayce Everett – Red Revelations
18. Tracy Thorn – Love & Its Opposite
19. Lindstrøm & Christabelle – Real Life is No Cool
20. Jerrod Niemann – Judge Jerrod and the Hung Jury
21. Kylie Minogue – Aphrodite
22. Laurie Anderson – Homeland
23. Vaselines – Sex With An X
24. Drive-By Truckers – The Big To-Do
25. Shabazz Palaces – EP’s

#1. Taylor Swift – Speak Now.

My poptimist reputation notwithstanding, I was unmoved by Speak Now‘s predecessors beyond a handful of singles. Then I played this, and for eight songs in her singing, critical eye, and arranging skill (how easy to fuck up a hook as clean as the one in “Mean”; the banjo makes this s0ng. Things only get soupy towards the end, when said arrangements start to resemble Grammy productions (e.g. “Enchanted”).

#2. Vampire Weekend – Contra

No longer merely signifing thoughtfulness, these guys begin an album with a self-parodic ode to drinking horchata and end with a ponderous development of  the title metaphor. I stand by this.

#3. Big Boi – Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty

Doc Zeus on Jeff Weiss’ blog: “You mean to tell me that two whole record labels filled with allegedly qualified music executives could have listened to the music that Big Boi was leaking for the better parts of three years and not realize they had a classic album on their hands?” A cavil though: had Big Boi included “Royal Flush,” said qualified music executives would have had a classic.

#4. The-Dream – Love King

In retrospect I overrated last year’s Love vs. Money, a electro-stutter-plagued trudge through Terius Nash’ boring love life, for which he employed colorless Mariah and Kanye cameos.  Love King is yet another electro-stutter-plagued trudge through Terius Nash’ boring love life, with a crucial difference: he’s imbibed enough of his idols (forget Prince:  “Yamaha”  is Ready For the World “Digital Display” territory) to edit his psychodramas to manageable length and revisit previous iterations of recorded material. “February Love,” for example, is LVM’s “Fancy,” improved and sharpened. Too bad he hasn’t curbed his weakness for redundant prefaces or sequels;  his sex intelligence may make other niggas irrelevant, but he needs afterschool help with sequencing albums. Still, if you need own only album by the songwriter of Rihanna’s “Umbrella” among countless others,  Love King collects all his sticky tricks (a couple of dollars more will even getcha three superb extra tracks). All we need is UF or FSU to adapt “Florida International” into a halftime anthem (actually, please don’t).

#5. LCD Soundsystem – This is Happening

Neither Big Meech nor Larry Hoover — just an average guy whose above-average programming and melodic skills give him the right to indict his own attempts at bad poetry and audacious 1977-era Bowie rips. The only way a retro move as baldfaced as this makes sense is as a reclamation: looking to Vince Clark-era Depeche Mode for answers, he realizes he’s gotta change. I still think his long “groove”-based songs (“Pow Pow”) are his weakest, but he’s getting better at a tension-and-release that has nothing to do with tumescence (“Dance Yrself Clean”).

#6. Rick Ross – Teflon Don.

He’s Big Meech, Larry Hoover, MC Hammer. He’ll go to the grave before he’ll be a bitch.  Self-made while the rest of us are affiliated, he’s recording “lifestyle music for escaping the state police via speedboat,” according to Jayson Greene. Impassive voice, meet impassive beats.